I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
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Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
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I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize