just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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