Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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