I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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