My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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