Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize