I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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