am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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