That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
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I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
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the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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