Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize