Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize