There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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