R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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