Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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