you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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