JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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