Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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