Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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