I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
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you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
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look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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