i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
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yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
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I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Success! We fucked roommates!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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