He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
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So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
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You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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