Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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