and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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