It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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