I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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