Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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