Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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