garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
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i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
These tits shall not be calmed
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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