Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I could have mohawked her pubes.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
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Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
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Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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