fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
pray to the hookup gods
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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