bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize