I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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