Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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