I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize