tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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