I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Green mimosas i think yes
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize