Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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