Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
did i just pee glitter
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
do nipples grow back?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize