I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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