Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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