And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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