i barfeds in our rink
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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