well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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