i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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