Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
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