We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
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Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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