Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize