real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I looked at my own cervix.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize