you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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