You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize